Life Story

Man, I feel like a woman!

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”–Eleanor Roosevelt

Related to my previous post and the last interview with a strange company, had me to question my whole-being. Most of the time, in the midst of my solitude, I think by myself, why is it so hard to be just who I am. I know obviously that I am different; not that I’m bragging myself, but more like I feel unlike the normal girls at my age. The way I think-act-perceive, is often uncommon and clearly lead people to misjudge me.

Such sayings like arrogant, bossy, over-ambitious, are ones of people’s opinion about me. I, honestly, never intend to offend or to forge things to anyone. It is just who I am – a girl who is born to compete and strive only for the best.

Yesterday, I felt so miserable, kind of confused with what I am supposed to do. I talked to some people about my miserable feelings and here are some of what they said to me.

Am I supposed to change who I am and be like the rest, in order to civilized with the common people? or should I settle for who I am and take the risk of people not accept me?

R : Why you feel that way? you are an alpha remember. you compete with another alpha. You don’t compete with ordinary human or subhuman. But ya, world is full with hypocrite, luckily, you are a shifter rite? I say, no need to lower your level, what for? it’s going to burdened you and you won’t enjoy it. your place is up there!

E : Ne, you are more suitable in the war zone. A tough place for a tough person.

A : Ci, you are not supposed to be under some shallow people’s authorization, you’ll get frustrated. You are supposed to lead people, not to be lead by.

I don’t mean to declare that I’m the most righteous one or the greatest one. But I also can’t lie that I am who I am now. I am not an average girl. There’s nothing I can do or say to change me. Some people might dislike me, or disagree with my terminology, well, people rarely admit the journey that has gone through a butterfly to achieve its beauty. It will still goes on, and if days suppose to be hard on me, let it be. I may be alone and I may looked weird, but I’m stronger each day, now it’s nothing but my way.

I was once afraid of people saying, “Who does she think she is?” Now I have the courage to stand and say, “This is who I am.”–Oprah Winfrey

You can bend but never break me
‘Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul

To the man who interviewed me yesterday :
I may not be on the top like Bung Karno, I may have not created a significant breakthrough in the world yet, but I am always working on my best in everything I do, for myself, and for my environment. A person doesn’t need to be on the top of the world to make a change. No matter where the position is, no matter how little the effect is, as long as there is a better and positive result, it stills called a change. And for your ‘awesome’ statement “only when a person is on the top, can make a great breakthrough”, I would like to counter, and don’t you forget, a great leader always starts from the ground to reach the top of the ladder.
And one more Sir, the earth is not round shape, it’s some what elliptical.

To all the girls in the world :
Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted

Herald what your mother said
Readin’ the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view

Don’t ask no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can’t stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
You can’t stop it, if you try to
This time it’s danger staring you in the face

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together

I am wise, but it’s a wisdom of pain.
I am still an embryo with a long, long way to go.
I am a woman, I am strong, I am invincible.


2 thoughts on “Man, I feel like a woman!”

  1. so which one are you now?
    what i want to say is whoever you are, just do it, if you want to seek the best then do it, if you are alpha, so be it…

    it’s your own life, you’re the one that decide what you want to be…
    enjoy the life like there is no tomorrow…
    (forgive my bad english)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s