Last month, under many circumstances, I often kept myself off the radar. Please accept my apology for my frequent absence to write. To redeem my guilt, I will write more posts this month. As we all know that February is well-connected with the month of love 😛 and prior to that, we will discuss more about love, love, and love 😉
Let us break it down this huge thing called love, by looking closer to the outer shell of love.
What is love?
Many centuries have passed by, mankind has declared it again and again, yet no one can offer a proper definition of love. To some people, love is affection; to some others, love is feeling or love is like gambling. No matter how you define it, surely you have your own opinion about love 🙂
According to merriam-webster dictionary, love can be explain into some definitions, such as :
1. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (maternal love for a child)
2. attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
3. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
There are so many things to consider when we talk about one of the most complex topics, called love. The word love can vary into different kind of feelings or attitudes or attraction. It is also may refer to an intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love, to the familial love, to the religious state of love, or to the platonic (friendship) love. However, the most exhilarating of all, is romantic love.
Romantic love is the feeling that you experience when you develop a deep attachment to someone and you want to form a solid relationship with that person. Love develops between two different people and there are some stages need to be understood to endure love.
Helen Fisher of Rutgers University in the States has proposed 3 stages of love – lust, attraction and attachment. Each stage might be driven by different hormones and chemicals.
– driven by the sex hormones for mating – in both men and women
– hormones : testosterone and estrogen
– the more romantic desire for a specific candidate. This is the stage when love-struck happens and you can’t think of anything else other than the person.
– the most common physical symptoms can be seen when your body reach to the person. Heart rate increases, temperature body rises, butterflies in your tummy, etc. After the circumstance is right and you find more things in common with the person, then an emotional attraction starts to form. An emotional attraction can also occur even when a physical attraction does not. This way, the bond between the two people may even be stronger.
– hormones : adrenaline, dopamine and pheromone, serotonin.
– the bond that keeps couples together long enough to have and raised children.
– Romance, intimacy and commitment are important in this level. There is an urgency to distinguish between selfish and selfless. Romance is quite an ‘act’ ; related with giving your attention or gifts upon your loved ones. Intimacy is a developing process, which never ends. A true intimacy is when you can tell and share anything to your partner. You can share your thoughts, dreams, goals, etc, and it is an association came from a deepest nature of you. A vow to remain true to your partner in good and bad times. Commitment is easy in good times, but it can be really difficult in bad times.
– Hormones : oxytocin, endorphins and vasopressin.
That’s all of my brief explanation of a nature phenomenon, love. This post may be confusing or helping. But anyway, regardless of how love plays role on you, it is worth the effort. So I hope this post could be a little help out for starters in knowing love, before you deeply in love. But really, how do you know if you are in love? I will explain it in my next post, just wait up! ^^
For the taken ones, simply do this tips to develop your relationship :
listen, compromise, understand and remember how the two of you got together 🙂
For the single ones, you might want to give it a shot, is about how to fall in love :
– find a person that you are interested with or a person that you want to try with (or a stranger can works too)
– reveal and converse about each other’s life, thoughts, hobbies, etc, about 30 mins or so.
– stare into each other’s eyes for about 4 mins, and lets see if there’s a spark in there 🙂
Last but not least, have a little faith! Everyone deserves to love and be loved, and so do you! Bonne chance!
Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it…It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more.
Love is in the air,