Love. Dreams. Hope. Life
Dear you,
I hope one day you can see just how special you are.
I hope one day you could believe that you are loved and deserve to be happy
I hope one day you could trust me that I meant everything I said to you.
I hope one day you can look back at our story and smile… because it happened.
Oh how I hope that one day will come to you soon
-Ness-
Every once in a while – on very rare occasions – we meet the woman of our dreams. It’s always unexpected and almost never at a convenient point in our lives, but she appears nonetheless and changes your life forever.
The dynamics between man and woman have been gradually changing for the past few decades, but the essence of the partnership basically remains the same.
We are designed by nature in a way that allows two such opposites to join and make a whole. Finding your other half is a journey of its own – usually a grueling one at that.
If you are lucky enough to find that woman, that rare sunflower growing on a barren desert, then do right by yourself and hold on to her as tightly as you can – never, ever let her go.
Not all of us were so wise when we met the loves of our lives… and believe me when I say that we’re regretting it. If she has any combination of these 12 qualities then you should never let her go:
1. She’s smarter than you.
Every man needs a smarter woman to help him get through life in one piece. They say that behind every great man is a greater woman – they aren’t lying. Without woman, man is little more than an ego-trip.
Enter a smarter woman into his life and suddenly that ego has a purpose, a direction, and the wisdom not to screw everything up.
2. She’s beautiful.
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder – as long as you find her to be incredibly beautiful, according to your definition, then she is worth holding on to.
I feel that these days we have those that put too much emphasis on beauty and then those that are rebelling against the concept and giving little to no importance to beauty.
Beauty is something that has been reveled upon since humans had eyes; it’s not something that we should be ashamed of, but rather something we should learn to appreciate properly.
3. She’s kind and nurturing.
Good people are kind people. If she isn’t kind then she isn’t worthy of taking up a part of your life. Being a woman, being nurturing is very important as well. Some people may not want children.
In some relationships the man may be more nurturing than the woman. Nevertheless, women are born with/develop maternal instincts with age. If you wish to one day start a family then you want to be sure you found a woman who wants to be, and is suited to become, a mother.
4. She’s vivacious.
Life gets difficult from time to time. It can get boring and monotonous just as well.
Women weren’t created to entertain men – if anything, it’s probably the other way around – but having a woman who is lively, energetic and hungry for adventure will add a dynamic to our life that will only make you happier.
5. She loves you with all her heart.
This is, by far, the most important quality any woman can have. When a woman loves you she loves you with her entire soul. It’s not the same sort of love that men experience – men always were and always will be more egocentric than women.
Women, on the other hand, have the uncanny ability to devote themselves entirely to the person(s) they love. If you find a woman that truly loves you then you found the greatest gift in the universe.
6. She’s willing to make compromises.
People are stubborn – both male and female alike. We like things the way that we like them and aren’t especially open to making changes we don’t deem necessary to make. However, relationships require making compromises.
It’s just the way things have to work if you want them to work. Finding a woman who will make compromises is only half the battle, however. You’re going to have to make them just as well.
7. She feels like home.
Being in love, deeply in love, is like finding your place in the world, your home, for the first time in your life. It’s knowing that you are exactly where you ought to be and that there is nowhere in the world you’d rather be.
If you look into her eyes and see your soul reflected in them, then you’re home. Don’t ever leave.
8. She is more than happy to tell you when you’re wrong.
Every man – and I mean every man – needs a woman who will call him out on his sh*t. Guys have an uncanny ability to make poor decisions and do stupid things.
Finding a woman who will keep you on track and tell you when you’re wrong can very well make or break your life.
9. She is strong, but feminine.
All people have a slightly different taste for the women they are attracted to – but they are all a combination of strength and femininity. A strong woman is a partner every man needs.
A feminine woman is… well, a woman. The two aren’t opposites. In fact, they are often one and the same – when found in a woman that knows how to hold her ground and be proud of who she is.
10. She’s passionate.
A life filled with passion is a life worth living. But living a life of passion alone is basically impossible. Passion exists between two living things – usually, in some way or another, between two individuals.
The beauty of passion is that it’s rather contagious. It’s the world’s most revered pathogen.
11. She’s driven.
I understand that some men want women to be stay-at-home wives. I also understand that there are plenty of women who want the very same. This sort of woman isn’t for me, but clearly some people are looking for just this.
Nevertheless, you still want a woman that is driven. If she wants to stay at home, cook, clean, and take care of the children, then make sure she’s the kind of woman that wants to be the best stay-at-home mom she could possibly be. Without drive, there is no purpose.
12. She means the world to you.
Sometimes we love a person beyond imagination and we aren’t sure why. To be truthful, you don’t really need a reason. If you love her and can’t imagine your life without her, then don’t allow yourself to lose her.
If she means that much to you, then understand that she means that much to you. Too often people don’t realize what the other person means to them until they lose them. We always think that there will be another chance, that it’s possible that the two of you will one day reconnect.
Maybe. But the opposite is also true. You may have lost her forever. You may suffer for years and years because you let go of the most important thing in your life. Don’t take the risk.
(Articles courtesy : http://elitedaily.com/dating/gentlemen/12-qualities-find-woman-never-let-go/749353/)
I stumbled upon this article and find it good to be shared for a reminder for clueless men out there who may be still questioned themselves whether she is the one or not.
Cheers,
Ness
From what I have learnt, love has never been easy
Fron what I have felt, love can hurt so deep
From what I have seen, love can’t always conquer everything
From everything that has been through, some people are meant to fall in love with each other, but not meant to be together.
And yet, loving you is one of the best thing ever happened to me
Ness
I don’t know how you are so familiar to me—or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before—in another time, a different place, some other existence. (lang leav)
and in this life time, I have to say goodbye to you… again.
I will carry a fragment of you with me, so you could find me your missing piece after life.
So perhaps, I will see you in another life time, in another dimension.
Goodnight, my soul mate.
Ness
Dear you,
It’s unbelievable to think all the years I’ve lived knowing you.
It’s funny how close we are when we are thousand miles away
Thank you for always making me smile, even for just a moment
Thank you for always remind me that I deserve the best of everything
Thank you for always telling me that I’m amazing and beautiful
Thank you for always trying to understand me even when you don’t
Thank you for letting me be your hope
Thank you for being a friend when I need one
Thank you for being you 🙂
Sincerely,
Ness
Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on.
Ness
Here is the list of 26 things I learned about men at the age of 26 :
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can keep him away.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.
3. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
4. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy
5. If a relationship ends because the man wasn’t treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t be friends. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
6. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better”. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better
7. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
8. If he cheated WITH you, he will cheat ON you.
9. Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of women. he didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
10. Always have your own set of friends separate from his, so you will have your own support system.
11. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up, before it’s too late.
12. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
13. You cannot change a man’s behaviour. Change comes from WITHIN.
14. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are.. even if he has more education or in a better job.
15. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a MAN, nothing more nothing less. Never EVER let a man define who you are.
16. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
17. You should not be the one doing all the bending. Compromise id a two-way street.
18. You need tine to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues BEFORE pursuing a new relationship.
19. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
20. Dating is fun, even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
21. Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are and you’re always readily available to him – he takes it for granted.
22. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
23. Be happy with yourself in the first place. If you’re not happy with you, why would you be happy with someone else?
24. When you are always HAPPY; and he is always free to GO; He feels LUCKY
25. Forcing men to talk about feelings all the time will not only make you seem needy, it will eventually make him lose respect. And when he loses respect, he’ll pay even less attention to your feelings.
26. The most attractive quality of all is dignity. Make sure you have one.
(Credits to : MaryRone Shell and Sherry Argov)
Have a sparkling day, beautiful!
Ness
I think women really like it when a man stands up for them. It does not have to end up in a fist fight, but there is something about the sight of a man who pursues the woman he loves.
Recently, I’ve been watching a pile of Korean Drama DVDs. Okay, I’m not a fan of cheesy-mushy drama, but hey, watching these series warmed my heart up. Now I get the idea why women love Korean Drama. The one and only reason is because the male lead actor there fight like crazy to be with the woman he loves. He didn’t act all romantic etc, all he did was showing the girl how much he wanted her in his life through every worse scenarios. And I can assure you guys, THAT kind of gesture, swoon us girls over.
After the series has over, I came back to reality dimension and start thinking what if that kind of man really exists. Often times, I think to myself, why does it take so hard and complicated to show someone that you want her/him in your life. Because from what I learned from K-drama, it only takes commitment and your guts.
I grew up in a culture where boys are raised and being spoilt more than girls, so that they lose their manliness. A few months ago, I had a close friend whose had been in a relationship with her bf for almost a decade, broke up. The reason was seriously ridiculous : because her ex’s grandma didn’t approve her. Yeah, you read it right, grandma. I was very pissed. He’s a goddamn adult and almost 30, and he let the woman he loved go, because his grandma didn’t like the woman. What happened with man up and use your brain? What happened with fighting for your happiness? I guess those all have gone with the so-called eastern manners.
I might sound like a racist eventhough I didn’t mean to, but I value western culture (and the men?) more than my eastern culture. Most of the times, my eastern culture got mixed with common-sense that people confuse between right/wrong and kind/bad. What makes it worse, most guys from our race, despite their intellectual level, can’t even decide his own life for the sake of family dignity and keeping up the goddamn culture.
So the main question is, where are these guys who will take risk for the woman they love?
Excuse me, I’m gonna look for him in my K-drama. 😀
Note : I am a Chinese descendant and I dislikes my ridiculous nonsense culture.
Dear you,
It’s already been 16 hours, sun changes into moon, night changes into day…
But why haven’t I changed at all?
It’s only been 16 hours.
-Ness-
I had this typical of he-likes-me-but-not-my-type conversation yesterday. Yes again, for the hundredth time.
How long have you waited for the man/woman that seem quite right for you? 10 years? 20 years?
Have you started to think that the numbers of qualified man/woman has been declining for the past years, and all the good ones are taken? And then you start to blame yourself that you might be too nerdy or too chubby or too tall or too short, to get a boyfriend/girlfriend. And the climax stop at you trying to justify all the bullshits such as ‘I have not given a thought of a boyfriend yet’, ‘I need to focus on my career first’, and blah blah.
I need you to stop right now and get yourself a mirror.
The truth is you are perfect and amazing human being, just as you are, whether you are chubby, short, tall, geek, weird, fair skin, dark skin, etc.
The truth is there might be several men tried to ask you out in the past, but you deliberately shove them away just because you think he wasn’t decent enough for you.
The truth is you just think too much before it haven’t even started yet. Just jump and fall!
And to top it all, you just have way too many boundaries and see too many flaws in people, that you can’t see that you are fill of flaws as well.
I apologize for the harsh words, but sometimes I feel the urge to personally slap these people to stop creating unreasonable scenarios in their head, so they could get back on their feet that there is no right person. and neither are you.
He ain’t right.
You ain’t right.
Together both of you could be right for each other.
We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”
I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.
Release the fear. Stop finding the wrong in people, and start looking for the goodness in them.
-Ness-
THE BUTTERLY'S EFFECT 